21 Economic Models Explained

25 February 2009 at 3:04 pm Lasse 48 comments

| Lasse Lien |

In celebration of Mahoney and Pitelis’s impressive achievement in strategic management, here is a related classic on economic systems (HT: K. Isrenn):

21 Economic Models Explained

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

Entry filed under: - Lien -, Ephemera.

Case Studies and Causal Inference Nifty Little Nuggets for Improving Your Impact

48 Comments Add your own

1. David Andersson | 26 February 2009 at 8:32 pm

In another version of this, “Royal Bank of Scotland Venture Capitalism” is called “Hong Kong Capitalism.” But, of course, several of the old Hong Kong trading houses were of Scottish origin.
2. hippybiker | 6 May 2009 at 6:48 pm

California Corporation

You have two Cows, they get married and adopt a Bull who is Gay.
3. You have 2 cows - 21 Economic models explained - Politics.ie | 7 May 2009 at 3:09 pm

[…] 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away. more: 21 Economic Models Explained Organizations and Markets __________________ "The essence of freedom is the proper limitation of government." ~ […]
4. Mir Rashid | 13 May 2009 at 4:24 pm

Pakistani Corporation.
You borrow two cows from world bank.
politicians milk cows and drink the milk until cows are dead. After 10yrs you owe 20 cows to world banks.
5. J. John | 8 June 2009 at 2:15 pm

ORWELLIANISM
(or: A British Corporation II)

You have two cows.
In the interests of safety, the government already knows everything about your cows, yourself, your family, where you have been and who you have talked to. Regulations none the less stipulate that you fill out 120 incomprehensible forms per cow.
You are then fined.
You may not sing in the streets when drunk.
6. Kaushal Bhattarai | 12 July 2009 at 2:57 am

You had two cows. One which developed 22nd Economic Model and another was so foolish to read them out, interestingly.
7. MINYAHIL ALEMU. | 5 June 2010 at 6:12 am

The descriptions provided on the economic models are very much interesting and are teaching.I found new things from the notes.
And it will be more interesting if you try to relate or apply the models on the current real world economic situations.

Thank you! It is from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.
8. maria theresa | 16 July 2010 at 1:16 am

should i be laughing at the explanations or are they real explanations? i am just wondering because somehow some of them make sense or they really are what they are seem. like the indian corporation, they do worship cows. thank you very much.
9. Guilherme Lambais | 31 August 2010 at 4:48 pm

A Brazilian Corporation
The State Enterprise has two cows, which are running too much deficit.
The State sells one cow to the private sector for the price of one donkey. The other cow is disputed on justice, among public and private sector, traditional families and a civil group, which will take 25 years.
The private sector, who now owns the only cow that people know where it is, charges the population for the milk of a pricey exclusive Himalayan goat.
10. Economic models explained | (Le)Strange Thoughts | 25 February 2011 at 8:37 pm

[…] a repost from https://organizationsandmarkets.com/2009/02/25/21-economic-models-explained/ no copyright infingements are intended. I did NOT write this handy dandy article! This […]
11. Bobby Ivans | 14 April 2011 at 8:48 pm

The Papua New Guinean Corporation
You have two cows.Your in-laws kills one and distribute it amongst their extended family. You sell the other one for the price of a carton of beer. Of the 24 bottles in the carton, you only drink 4, while ur parasitic brothers in-law drinks the rest with your buddies.In your case it seemed unfair, so you take your in-laws to court. The Judge would formally welcome you again to the country and add “Expect the unexpected Son”.
12. 21 Economic Models Explained (via Organizations and Markets) | Brucetheeconomist's Blog | 7 May 2011 at 1:43 pm

[…] | Lasse Lien | In celebration of Mahoney and Pitelis's impressive achievement in strategic management, here is a related classic on economic systems (HT: K. Isrenn): 21 Economic Models Explained SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sho … Read More […]
13. Nate | 22 June 2011 at 12:43 am

Can you say bias?
14. Ruhi Sonal | 8 January 2012 at 7:08 am

Funny, but isn’t there no state in communism at all?
15. Connie | 9 January 2012 at 11:41 am

NATIVE AMERICAN CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows.
People from another country come and take your cows and force you to do slave labor and give most of your population diseases thus slowly killing them off.
Those that live are forced to live on specific plots of land owned by the government.
Then the government feels bad and gives you rights to a large casino. You become rich and retire peacefully.
16. Sarhang | 10 January 2012 at 3:17 pm

A Canadian corporation
You have two cows.
Instead of mwaaa, they say ehhh?
17. COW LOVER | 14 January 2012 at 1:39 am

Hey Sarhang! Since when does a cow MWAA?

MOOOOOOOOOOO!!! you fool
18. oberlaie | 25 January 2012 at 7:43 am

A SPANISH CORPORATON
You have two bulls.
You make them stampede through your city for fun.
You decide to first have siesta and then count the dead tourists later.

A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two sheep.
The right one looks rather cute …

REPUBLIC PARTY MEMBER
You have two cows, your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty and sell one to the neighbor for half price.
You regret it later and charge him for the water that flows through your land to the neighbor’s land.
You don’t feel guilty at all.

DEMOCRATIC PARTY MEMBER
You have two cows, your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty and elect someone to put a new tax on cows.
You have to sell one cow to pay the tax.
The government buys a cow from the tax income and gives it to the neighbor.
You don’t feel guilty anymore.

LIBERAL PARTY MEMBER
You have two cows, your neighbor has none.
So what ?
19. Alatna | 28 January 2012 at 10:38 am

The greek Cooperation

you say, you have two cows…
20. Devon | 29 January 2012 at 12:07 pm

Dude… fantastic
21. What should Pakistan do to increase its economy and well-being | 29 March 2012 at 12:28 am

[…] […]
22. Abir Mandal | 21 April 2012 at 11:02 am

@hippybiker
Then they leave California to go to Texas where people can afford to buy the milk.
23. JKB | 21 April 2012 at 3:08 pm

Government-guided capitalism
You have two cows
You try to sell one and buy a bull
But you are have now applied for the 100th permit, paid massive fees, spent a fortune on the EIS, now you await the board hearing on whether you will get the permit.
You make a strategic campaign contribution
Your permit appears the next day
Then you discover the government will pay you a subsidy if you have two cows but don’t produce any more cows this year
You build a luxury barn for your cows and complain about suburban development in your once pristine rural community
You know your subsidy will continue as long as your campaign contributions continue.
24. Todd Lohenry | 22 April 2012 at 7:31 am

Reblogged this on Todd's Perspective and commented:
LOL. I never knew economic models could be this simple…
25. bage66 | 23 April 2012 at 6:56 am

Oligarchy, you have two cows, then you have no cows (via forced sale, chosen winners/losers, elimination, etc), “no soup/milk” for you.
26. Howard McTaggart | 21 September 2012 at 7:34 am

This would be a great lesson for the first economics class in high school, I remember it as being quite dry, something like this might lighten the the classroom atmosphere, the class will realize that the teacher does indeed have a sence of humour. LOLs
27. Mo-Town | 22 November 2012 at 7:07 pm

Israeli Corporation
You once had two cows, you left them because you believed they weren’t worth the trouble, after a many generations your granddaughter corporation believes they have the rights to the cows, forcefully taking them from their current owners. Then after the other people you style it from complain, you pay every world power to agree with your opinions, you then wait anther few generations till none realizes that you don’t have rights to the cows at all.
28. rebkoch | 21 January 2013 at 11:43 am

Belgian corporation
You have two cows. One speaks French, the other speaks Dutch. You draw a language border, each cow on one side. The French speaking cow used to give more milk and thus fed the calves of the Duch speaking one. But now times have changed: the French speaking cow has little milk and the Dutch speaking gives more milk. You want to sell instead of giving it to French speaking calves. Therefore you set up a separast party and tell everyone that the two cows cannot live together anymore. Unfortunately, the only big stable with the milking machine is inseparable and managed by supranational forces.
29. Bob | 13 March 2013 at 7:07 pm

Irish government
You have 2 sheep.
A couple months go by
You have 2 sheep and a sheep-human mutant.
30. Ike Jakson | 21 April 2013 at 12:25 pm

Great Blog! I love the humor and the serious parts.
31. Ike Jakson | 21 April 2013 at 12:28 pm

Would you like to know about the South African model?
32. monopoly | 5 August 2013 at 12:34 am

Mongolian government
Mongolian policy makers have two cows. they say that these cows are mongolian citizen’s property. but they have sold to Rio tinto and they have become savings in bank of Switzerland
33. abajo_fidel | 2 February 2014 at 3:14 pm

CUBAN corporation
You have 2 cows. One cow dies, you eat it. You go for 20 years to jail. The other cow dies as well, because the state does not allow you to buy anything. Because all cows, you and your family as well, belong to the cuban revolution.
34. kellerman8 | 14 February 2014 at 1:17 pm

the nigerian democracy
you have two cows,
the state roasts one and shoots the other and asks you to go fuck yourself
35. John Smith | 27 March 2015 at 10:33 pm

A Cuban Corporation
You have two cows.
The state takes both, kills the cows, and gives you the cows back with some milk. You eat the cows, and use its remains to make jewelry and many other useful items, which you sell to (mostly Canadian) tourists. The state then takes the proceeds and gives you weird pieces of paper in return, telling you that it’s money.
36. Andres Falcone Alcalde | 24 November 2015 at 9:56 pm

Argentine capitalism: You have two cows. You starve and milk them until they can’t give more milk. Then you sell them to a foreign corporation that starts investing in the cows. When they’re fat and giving milk again, you nationalize cows and indemnify the foreign company with worthless sovereign bonds, but you never pay that debt. The cows are getting alarmingly skinnier.
37. Andres Falcone Alcalde | 24 November 2015 at 10:20 pm

Cuban socialism would be more like: You have two cows. The state takes one and gives you weird papers, telling you can trade them for milk (and sugar). The other one is starving because the state doesn’t let you buy anything, so you sacrifice it to eat some meat. The state finds out, puts you on trial and sentences you to 10 years imprisoned (that last part is real, google it). You salute the revolution.
38. What Are The Economic Systems Models | Putika5 | 1 May 2016 at 9:07 pm

[…] 21 Economic Models Explained | Organizations and … – … management, here is a related classic on economic systems … here is a related classic on economic systems (HT: K. Isrenn): 21 Economic Models … […]
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[…] 21 Economic Models Explained | Organizations and … – 21 Economic Models Explained. 25 February 2009 at 3:04 pm Lasse 38 comments | Lasse Lien | In celebration of Mahoney and Pitelis’s impressive achievement in … […]
40. Pavan Otthi | 22 March 2017 at 7:05 am

ISIS:
you have two goats
the one on the left is more attractive
but u fuck them both anyway
41. Stefan Lechiance | 26 February 2019 at 1:50 pm

Futbovinelian Corporaton:

you have two xevines

you milk and then eat the first
you send the second into space on starship that travels very very fast into low gravitational fields. It returns much younger with a calf.
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46. maxx_reebo | 24 April 2019 at 3:24 am

British capitalism
you have two cows.
you require 94 permits per cow.
You shoot yourself because it is not worth the hassle.
47. Alberta | 19 March 2021 at 11:32 am

No, in Canada our cows say mwaaa
48. Shibi | 4 April 2021 at 6:49 am

South African corporation:
You have 2 cows
You steals both cows
then open an enquiry to find out how the cows were stolen
then steal the report
claim to need 200 cows to get the truth