Ode to the RIAA

19 January 2007 at 12:34 am Peter G. Klein Leave a comment

| Peter Klein |

Regular readers will know that we are not entirely sympathetic to the concept, let alone current legal treatment, of intellectual property (1, 2, 3). Fellow IP-skeptics are sure to enjoy David Pogue’s “Ode to the R.I.A.A” (Recording Industry Association of America), to the tune of the Village People’s “YMCA.”

Young man,
You were surfing along,
And then, young man,
You downloaded a song,
And then, dumb man,
Copied it to your ‘Pod,
Then a phone call came to tell you:

You’ve just been sued by the R.I.A.A.!
You’ve just been sued by the R.I.A.A.!
Their attorneys say, you committed a crime,
And there’d better not be a next time!

They’ve lost their minds at the R.I.A.A.!
Justice is blind at the R.I.A.A….
“You’re depriving the bands! You are learning to steal,
You can’t do whatever you feel!”

Know what?
They’re a lawsuit machine.
They say so what
If you’re only thirteen?
And you know what?
They were equally mean
To an 80-year-old grandma!

CD
Sales have dropped every year,
They’re not greedy-
They’re just quaking with fear,
Yes, indeedy-
What if their end is near,
And we download all our music?

They’d all freak out at the R.I.A.A.-
No plastic discs from the R.I.A.A.!
What a way to make friends! It’s a plan that can’t fail:
Haul your customers off to jail!

And who’ll be next for the R.I.A.A.?
What else is vexing the R.I.A.A.?
Maybe whistling a tune? Maybe humming along?
Maybe mocking them in a song-!

(The sound of jackboots bursting into the room…handcuffs…muffled cries…a columnist being dragged away… repeat and fade.)